Ninja Weasle & the Blanket of Infinite Doom

Since The Blanket had sent the better part of the night(the better part being the X-Files Marathon on satelite) seaching for Ninja, well, it can be safely said that thier reunion in the university library was not of the standard of Heathrow, but more of the calibre of Jerry Springer.
"What the hell do you think your doing?" The Blanket yelled, well, as much as he every really yelled. It was far more like his normal voice, just higher pitched."I've been looking for you everywhere!!"
"Always the last place you look." Ninja chuckled, not helping the problem.
"Yes, because I didn't think you even knew the university had a library."
"Of course I do!!" Nija stuck his chin out in an indignant gesture which made him look like a furry shrimp trawler.
"Then why do you call it the 'big thing' whenever you see it?" The Blanket gestured wildly, trying to encompass a three story building from within with his own two arms.
Ninja flitted his eyes around the room as though he would find an answer on the cibracrome walls. "Economy of words?"
"Library is one word. Big thing is two." The Blanket frowned a little deeper, giving him creases you know he'd have to iron out later.
"Syllables then?"
The Blanket blinked. "Syllable? Did you just use the word syllable?"
"Uh huh." Ninja gave a small head nod.
The Blanket had had quite enough. Not only had he missed that hot red head talking about science, but he had a newly beaned bean bag, a semi-expensive red wine and small eclaire waiting at home bought especially for this night. Needless to say, when such plans were destroyed, anger most understanbly insues. "For god's sake you complete ninny, what are you doing here at 10 at night in a friday?!?!?!"
Ninja shrunk back into his swizel chair. "I'm studying."
"Your studying?" The Blanket said it slowly, like he was a a Narnian fawn trying to say 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'.
"Uh huh." Ninja swizeled back to the screen sheepishly.
"Why?"
"Well... I have this new tutor... and..."
The Blanket snorted deriseivly. "What, is she cute or something?"
Ninja went stiff and began to type like his life depended in letters per second.
"She is, isn't she!! What are you, Tommy Lee?"
"Listen, she just asked me if I needed help in class yesterday, and I said yes. And everything she said kind of stuck with me."
"Rules out her having big breasts I suppose." The Blanket was rapidly losing steam for his train of angry thought. He slumped down into an uncomfortably grey and cheap office chair.
"I gotta go print this out... give me a minute." Ninja ran off to the printers, leaving a deflated Blanket to contemplate the wonders of Teevo and as to when his parents would come around to his way of thinking. He only hoped his mother had not eaten his eclaire. Her increase in appitite latly had gone from obvious to obscene.
IT was just then, as he mused upon his mother's appetite issue, that he recieved a tap on his shoulder. He could tell by the smell of Old Spice and lycra that it was the Beaver of Incredible Terror and Key Lime Pie, secret identity of Mr Bartholemu Norris, The Blanket's body building statistic's tutor.
"How's it hanging dude?" Norris sat down across from The Blanket, short shorts hikeing up so they were more like an Addidas speedo.
The Blanket stared absently at Norris. "I missed The X-Files marathon because doofus brain's genitals learn better than he does."
Norris nodded. "So... no as well as they could be hanging." He laughed an overtly manly laugh and slapped The Blanket on the arm, a slap which felt more a a swipe from a bear, and sent The Blanket hard into the desktop.
"Not really." The Blanket weezed. "Plus, my mother has decended into some kind of downward spiral into some kind anti-christ."
"She giving you issues man?" He said it in a tone which sounded like he knew from first hand experience, which he prabably did because he was 40 years old and living in his mother's condo on the sofa. Divorce had not been fair to Norris.
"Indeed. Constantly eating, crying, yelling, its like PMS has taken up a full time shift to pay its bills on time."
Norris chuckled. "Bro, its harsh, but thats what pregnant chicks do."
The Blanket believed his entire respiratory system stopped right then. "Pregnant?"
"Oh yeah. When the missus got knocked up it was all she ever did. This one time..."
Although The Blanket usually let Norris drown him in bitter nostalgia tonight was not the night for such human kindness. "I gotta go, Mr Norris. Thanks for the chat, say goodbye to Ninja for me." They both turned to watch Ninja slaping the print machine yelling something about a printer mismatch.
"No probs dude."
The Blanket sailed down the stairs to the parking lot, hoping he was home in time beofre his mother went to bed. Or that he at least caught her night-time snack break. Because he had something to say about this pregnant thing.
He wanted to put in an order for a brother.