Ninja Weasle & the Blanket of Infinite Doom

The weekend found our hero's (?) sitting on the couch in their Y fronts, drinking beer and eating cold, two day old pizza, watching I Love Lucy re-runs on Ninja's uncle's pay TV. Uncle Ally knew all about the despair of being stood up by someone you never met... He'd ordered seven mail-order wives over the years and none had ever turned up. This had helped Ally develop a healthy dislike for Russia and the US postal service. But an unhealthy love of Heiniken and artery hardening foodstuffs...
It was right before the best bit in their ninth episode of Lucy, that Ninja's phone went off...
And the dynamic(?) duo were dressed and out of the house before the credits rolled... Because they had gotten a tip off. A tip off that Louis was back... And that just would not do.
Louis was not his real name. His real name was Marty. He had left the States one fine day for a summer abroard in France. School exchange, sounds harmless. But within a month Marty had taken to eating unpronouncable cheeses on even harder to pronounce breads, being snippy, talking with an accent, testing Nuclear weapons in tropical oceans, wearing a beret, changed his name to Louis and drank wine at 4 in the afternoon...
But most shoking of all was that he intended to beat Ninja at taking over the world.
His name was The Incorrigable Weasle of Ultimate Supremacy.
And he was Ninja's brother.

They found Louis, sprawled lazily in a chair in an arty coffee shop called Le Pertentieux Consommateur. He was wearing that same beret with which he had once slapped Ninja and declared the battle for world domination truely ON.
Ninja walked straight up to him and tipped his latte in this lap.
Louis slowly looked down at his lap... "I see... brother, have we not matured past this by now?" He dabbed his browned, soggy, cream coloured dress slacks with a three ply napkin.
The Blanket could nearly see steam coming off Ninja's head...
"Go home, Marty..." He said through gritted teeth.
Louis flicked a hand Ninja's way... "Listen to my rasberry sounds... pthttttt."
"Now who's being immature...!!!!!!!" Ninja gestured with a stiff finger at his brother.
Louis sighed and turned in his seat to face Ninja. "Brother... please do not gesticulate in that manner, it is very rude..." He looked Ninja up and down, ignored the clenched jaw and clenched hairy fists, and said, "Oh, brother, why do you insist on dressing like such an American... chinos and a singlet!Mon chatte, they invented style for a reason...!!!!!"
The Blanket saw something ferrel and reckless creep into Ninja's eye... something he'd only seen once before after a soft ball competion when Dave Spernsburg had called Ninja a ferret... or, more precisely, the Ferret of Infinte Stench...
The Blanket stepped in between the brothers, facing Ninja. "Maybe I should do a little talking now...ok? Maybe you should go get some carbohyrates? Huh?" Ninja pouted for a moment then made a humph sound and slouched off to the McDonald's on the other side of the street.
The Blanket let out a releived sigh and turned to Louis. "Hey Louis..."
Luis smiled and stood, taking The Blanket's face between his hands. "Mon Ami!!!!!" He planted a wet kiss on both of The BLanket's cheeks.
The Blanket strained a smile out. "Nice to see you too."
Louis gestured widely at his table. "Pease, take a seat, have a croissant! Fattening, but you only live once...No?"
The Blanket sat and picked up a pastry. He nibbled the end. then He looked at Louis, who was beaming like a child who'd won 1st prize int the science fair. The Blanket sighed. "Louis, not that it isn't great to see you..." Louis' face fell. "And it really is... you look..." The Blanket searched about a bit, "Very urbane...?"
Louis smiled hautily. "Its the moustache... it lends me a little...lagniappe."
"Ok, I can't explain how much I don't want to know what that means." The Blanket put down the pastry.
Louis gave him a sidelong eye roll, complete with eyebrow and slight head shake. "Pauve ti bete!"
"Or that either..." The Blanket leaned forward. "Louis, can't you aggravate Ninja from the other side of the really big wet thing known as the ocean??"
Louis leant back and sprawled languously, stubbornly and pompously in his chair, all similtainiously. "Non. I enjoy doing it mano-e-mano, oui? Also... the distance... pah! Seeing his tiny little Capitalist eyes while I, how you say, aggravate him... it increases my joie de vivre."
Sheer horror spread across The Blanket's face. He'd only taken one semester of French and what he'd got off that last phrase was not for polite company...
Louise looked down his nose with a condescending and tired air. "Joy of living, mon ami. Joie de vivre, joy of living...Ah!" He threw up a hairy hand and spoke rapidly in French, none of it intelligable to The Blanket and none of it sounding very positive...
The Blanket frowned. "Okaaaaay.... Anyway, Louis, can you please go home? He'll pop a blood vessle in his head if you stay!"
Louis threw his nose up and made an Adonis pose. "Then he will pop, no? I have as much righ to be here as he does! Duel citizenship, oui?"
The Blanket turned to watch Ninja sitting on a park bench across the street stabbing his burger with a straw. The Blanket sighed. "Ok, fine. But would you mind telling me what your here for? Other than to make my life hell?"
Louis chuckled. "Mon ami, you are how they say, a hoot!" He raised his new cup of latte and made swirly gesture. "I am here to take over the world, no?"
The Blanket sighed again. "Oh shit."
"Non, mon ami... Merde. Not shit, Merde. Oui?"
The Blanke glared at Louis. "Merci a bunch."
Louis shrugged as only the French can.
"Can't you just take over France?" The Blanket made one last ditched effort.
Louise made a crazily shocked face. "Who would want France?"