Ninja Weasle & the Blanket of Infinite Doom

"I want to get a cat." Ninja's voice was disembodied, since his body was fortressed inside a sleeping bag which was pulled tightly over his head. As many times as The Blanket had explained that the shadow on their tent was from a low hanging branch, Ninja was concvince, after one too many episodes of Supernatural, that it was a skin eating monster of some kind. So The Blanket sat up and ate crisps and tried to console and distract him as was best possible when the person your consoling and distracting keeps praying to a different god for salvation every ten minutes...
"A cat?" the Blanket threw a Salt and Vinegar packet away and moved in on the Chiken flavoured ones. "Must I reminde you what happened to the goldfish? Your mum still can't get the smell out of the carpet..."
"Buth I than't be an efil geniush wothout a that." Said the the sleeping bag. The Blanket had become fluent in this language,by nessecity. It happened every time they went camping...
"Are you an evil genius, though? I mean, minus the cat?"
Ninja popped out of the bag and frowned. "Well, duh... who else tries to take over the world?"
The Blanket shrugged. "Some would say George Bush. And he ain't no genius..." He passed the bag of chips to Ninja.
"Well...hehe... yeah." Ninja stuffed his nose in the bag and made a scarfing sound. The Blanket opened a new packet...
"Well, let's test you, ok? Do you enjoy threatening and or killing sauve British intelligence agents with outlandish schemes and pretty blond women?"
Ninja pulled his head out of the foil bag. "Um, no. Sounds like a lot of effort."
"Hum... Ok. Do you intend to live on an island and shave your head?"
Ninja threw the chip packet at The Blanket's head. "No! Chicks dig my hair..." He made a hair model flick and made his sexy face.
Suddenly The Blanket had lost his appetite.
"Ok, well, when you do take over the worl, do you want to populate it with evil minions who cause havoc, pain and suffering to all amn kind?"
Ninja thought about this for a second. "Just mean people?"
"No, everyone..."
Ninja's eyes widened. "Even puppies!!"
The Blanket sighed. "That settles it, you are not an evil genius."
Ninja frowned deeply. "Then why am I taking over the world?"
"Who says you have to be evil to take over the world? I mean, if being evil actually helped you take over the world, Dr. No or Barbara Streisen would have done it ages ago." The Blanket heard the house door open and his mother come out.
Ninja pondered that point. "Your right. I'm a... what's the opposite of evil?"
Should his mother not have popped her head in right at that moment, sending Ninja into a skin eating demon frenzy again, The Blanket seriosuly felt like something unpleasent would have happened...
"Honey, I need to tell you two something..."She knelt down between the two of them and said "It's about Uncle Lew..."

Uncle Lew. Uncle Lew was The Blanket's crazy old uncle, and Ninja's crazy old godfather... He sat in his front garden all day, dressed in a blue ducky robe, smoking a bubble pipe, yelling 'Ahoy there!' to people on the footpath and feeding his ornamental ducks with M&M's.
But in his day, Uncle Lew had been this close to taking over the world. He was known as 'The Towel of Impending Calamity'. And his name shook fear through the hearts of other super hero's and villians alike.
Uncle Lew used to sit Ninja and The Blanket on his knee and regail them with stories of lazers and missiles, and, when neither of their mothers were around, very very cheeky women who wore spandex...
Now, Uncle Lew was dead...