Ninja Weasle & the Blanket of Infinite Doom

It was three am. Generally the time all good blankets were sound asleep in bed.
Which meant that The Blanket was probably a very good Blanket, being he had been in bed asleep since 9:30pm.
He was all snuggly and happy and was dreaming about having a rotary hook exchanger for the Machine. This was his first night of solid, deep sleep in a week.
You know that this can't last long, right?
The sound of rocks tapping aginst his window roused The Blanket from his slumber. He dragged himself out of bed top his window and shoved it open.
A rock few into the open window missing The Blanket's head by a facial hair... He didn't even blink. He didn't see the point.
"You are scary." Said The Blanket, a yawn dragging out the last syllable of scary into some kind of boogie manster noise.
"No, I'm odd. If I knew where Jessica Alba lived, then I could be scary..."
The Ninja Weasle was dressed head to toe in French cat burglar attire, with a bunch of fair sized rocks in one hand and a what looked suspiciously like a set of binoculars in the other.
The Blanket shook his head and slumped against the window sill. "What time is it?"
"Time to get up and smell the hottie!!!"
I hope he doesn't mean that literaly, was The Blanket's only thought.
"Have you been taking your infrared binoculars for a walk again?" He said tiredly.
Ninja looked sheepish. "Maybe."
"And what did you 'maybe' come across that you had to get me to see at... 3AM!!! Jesus Ninja...!"
"Holly Anderson posing nude for her boyfriends year twelve art project?" He sounded smug.
The Blanket glared down at Ninja. "I hate you."
Ninja smiled. "I'm not too fond of you either. Now get your caboose down here."
The Blanket felt that he had two options: he could go down there and strangle the little weasle, or he could go back to bed. Since strangulation took effort, The Blanket simply, and without a word, closed his window and slouched back to bed.
"Come on..."
The Blanket put a pillow over his head to drown out Ninja's plaintive crys of 'but she's really hot and your missing it!'
Which was quickly followed by a shriek that was a cross between heart-squishing fear and a prom queen seeing the tiara...
Which meant that Ninja had either hit himself with a rock or...
The Blanket stuck his head up out of the mass of linens andstrained his ears.
There was the faint sound of 'Aaaaaahhhhh!!!' and what sounded like a rhino line-dancing. The Blanket dragged himself to the window and stuck his head out. "Hi Earnest..."
The Rather Malevolent Chipmunk of Impending Ruin lowered the rocket launcher from its aim at a retreating weasle ass and peered up through half moon glasses at The Blanket. 'Ah, hullo, old mate! Wake you did I?"
The Blanket made a kind of limp 'Meh' gesture. "Nope. Ninja got to me already. Hows everything?"
Earnest pushed his glasses up with one finger and shrugged. "My thesis is 30000 words and I have only 5000 so far. Science camp was rather boring, I must admit. Too rowdy this year." He leaned forward like he was about to impart a great secret. "They were drinking wine at 4pm." He made a distainful face. "And singing. The Phantom of the Opera was not meant to be performed by twenty slightly drunken astrophysicists and eleven bio-engineers..." He gave a shudder. "I can begin to describe it..."
Please don't, thought The Blanket. While Earnest was a great guy, he was aterribly snob and was the kind of guy who was a wonderful friend, as long as you only had to wave to him from a great distance.
As the Blanket half-listened to Earnest talk about whatever The New Scientist had published on the front page, he began to wonder about what jhis new invention would be. The Blanket had been working on it for some time. He was stumped. Maybe a machine that wakes you up at 3am until you die of tiredness or annoyance, either way. Or maybe one that whines to you about classical music and the superiority of one smelly cheese over another until you take your own life...
Maybe one that sews the mouths of annoying friends shut on site.
The Blanket leant against the window sill and just as Earnest began a tirade about the benifits of reverse engineering, he smiled a silly little far off smile, meant for a land where sleep was at least 19 hours long and Chimpmunks were refused access to culture of any kind...